Rental Review Roundup 3

With the passing of the seasons and the turning of the trees into brash wooden skeletons, I have fought my way through another list of disposable games.


Transformers: War for Cybertron

More than meets the eye? Not really, blast enemies until dead, then repeat.

The trick with transformers is not to ask too many questions. Questions like - why would an advanced largely robotic alien race feel the need to transform into vehicles? Why would they even speak English? Why would one side of a civil war call themselves the Decepticons? All these questions are ultimately void, because any child of the Eighties will remember the original transformers cartoon. How we wept when Optimus Prime sacrificed himself and became one with the matrix… On cynical reflection, you can see how the cartoons were just a narrative designed to churn out a new line of toys each year, but for purely nostalgic reasons, you just cannot write off the original Transformers. They were just cool. Personally, I was always a fan of the dinobots, Grimlock for obvious reasons.


The same cannot be said for the dire Michael Bay movies and their awful video game adaptations, luckily War for Cybertron re-imagines and revitalizes the origin story of the transformers, the civil war between the Autobots and Decepticons. A war, which will eventually lead to the destruction of their home world and cast the transformers across the gulf of space, where they will eventually take residence upon planet earth. With the original vocal cast from the cartoon returning, Transformers: WFC instantly provides the warm glow of nostalgia. Everything is just how your remember it. Megatron and Starscream bicker at each other, the latter always seeking to usurp the former. Bumblebee is the loyal hyperactive gun toting boy robot and Optimus Prime is always an icon of nobility, voiced by Peter Cullen. The planet of Cybertron is visually stunning, with its speedways and metallic skyscrapers, even if the environments do get a little repetitive over the course of the game it is still different from anything you have seen before in another video game.


Gameplay wise, War for Cybertron, is an old school third person shooter. There is no ducking behind cover, because transformers don’t do that. They don’t need to. Apart from blasting each other into scrap metal, they also have the ability to snap into their vehicular form. Which adds a manic fast paced dynamic to the whole experience. There is a real sense of glee when you transform. At one point, when playing as Bumblebee I was in my car state boosting along, then from out of nowhere comes a decepitcon flying machine and in one beautifully choreographed arc I jump up, transform in mid air, melee the sucker before transforming once again and landing on four wheels. Speeding merrily on my way. Gears of War may have the sadistic satisfaction of the chainsaw bayonets but the mirth of transformation is just as good.


The single player campaign has you play as both the Decepticons and the Autobots. You choose your character at the beginning of each level, usually a leader such as Optimus or Megatron or their accompanying classes scout, soldier, medic and heavy. Each having their obvious strengths, weaknesses and weapon loadouts. The two campaigns essentially mirror one another, both telling their own story behind the fall of Cybertron, though never backtracking through the same levels but always building to the big boss fight that occurs at the end. A single level from each campaign is dedicated to the transformers who have the ability to flight, which often feels to brief since the feeling of flight is empowering and works well compared to the on foot/wheels section. The campaign does begin to feel a little samey as you play through, the environments as good as they are do begin to get repetitive and listening to the Decepticons talk to one another did grate on me. Especially Megatron, I mean what an incomprehensible dick he is.


The game also includes a plentiful multiplayer experience, ranging from your selection of death match and team variant games to your obligatory co-op horde mode, all which extends your time with the game beyond the single player experience. On the whole Transformers:WFC is a decent package, the campaign is as long as it needs to be, the environments though visually impressive do become a tad repetitive the combat whilst satisfying also grows a bit stale as you fight off the usual waves of robots and slightly bigger robots with hammers. The multiplayer however, is really good, to the point I was reluctant to send it back to LoveFilm. Get a bunch of your mates round and you’ll get off on the nostalgia of old school transformers as well as the sheer brilliance that comes with transforming. Wouldn’t mind seeing a sequel. This time, bring back the Dinobots. Me Grimlock!


James Cameron’s Avatar The Game

Hey this looks alright! I assure you its not...

Going back in time, to the Ubisoft press conference at the 2009 E3 conference, James Cameron surprised the gaming industry by walking on stage to talk about his latest soon to be released movie, Avatar and to a lesser degree its accompanying game. For most sci-fi nerds like myself, it was amazing to see Cameron back on the stage again after the decade long hiatus that occurred after Titanic. Unfortunately, Cameron soon outstayed his welcome by boring the audience to tears by discussing how he was creating a world unlike anything people had seen before and how Ubisoft was giving him a chance to extend his world in a way that would appeal to people, or nerds… Whilst Cameron is undoubtedly a cinematic auteur it was obvious from his speech that he did not truly get the potential of gaming. In my opinion, Avatar was a decent enough movie. I am slightly amazed by how popular it has become, Aliens is still my favourite James Cameron movie, and whilst assault rifle wielding space marines sent on a bug hunt have been commonplace in the world of gaming since Halo, I am still eagerly awaiting Gearbox to release Colonial Marines, which rivals Duke Nukem Forever in the stakes of prolonged time in development.


I’m ranting. The Avatar game, or as it is appropriately titled James Cameron’s Avatar The Game is a formulaic third person shooter that is flawed in the classic tradition of lazy cinematic adaptations. After War for Cybertron, which successfully reinvented Transformers for the gaming platform, Avatar was dullness of the blandest form and it was difficult to find the motivation to plough through. You play as both the human forces and the indigenous Na’vi and both play exactly the same as one another. There could have been the potential to do a Halo clone here, but the environments as brilliantly realized as they are ‘from the mind of James Cameron’ are brought to life by mediocre graphics and boring gameplay. Fans of the movie will undoubtedly find some joy in exploring the world and learning more about Pandora, scanning creatures (a handful of six legged space goats) and foliage (the pink internet tree) Metroid Prime style for information but the game essentially boils down to moving around and shooting things, which granted, is the premise of most games, but Avatar’s problem is it doesn’t even try to make this feel engaging.


Banjo Kazooie: Nuts and Bolts.

See not all games are about killing eastern european PMCs...

Back in the days of the Nintendo 64, I missed out on Super Mario, apparently it was a milestone in gaming but I never fully got into it. Created by Rare, Banjo Kazooie on the other hand, with its near identical blend of platforming, collecting, and imaginative worlds was a game I have many fond memories of. The Rare logo was always a stamp of quality, and something this greystation owner was most envious about. Since the N64’s heyday, Microsoft brought the legendary Rare studios, with the hopes that it would replicate the kind of magic for the Xbox. The results have been questionable, whilst Kameo and Viva Pinata are both underrated gems, Perfect Dark Zero and Banjo Kazooie: Nuts and Bolts have been widely regarded as misfires.


Having now played Nuts and Bolts, I can quite safely say that it is the first rental I would actually consider buying. Most people have been put off by the game, since it does away with much of the platforming antics that made the original N64 games a success. Instead, the game has a new look, a colourful patchwork aesthetic, and a new gameplay mechanic which centres on the construction of vehicles for challenges ranging from races to fetch quests, which begins to feel a bit like Spore. Spiritually, I would argue that the game does stay close to its N64 roots, the whole game is permeated by a sense of humour, the worlds are imaginative and colourful, if a little wasted on the vehicular challenges. One world is set within the innards of a computer, another is a museum containing remnants from the old games. Including Clankers, the mechanical shark. The fanatical pursuit of the collection of things is still there, though this time, you will be searching for crates to unlock new components for the building of your magnificent machines. The actual construction of vehicles is a bit daunting at first and feels as if its real purpose is to introduce key mechanical rules to children, but whatever, as you start to build gather new parts, powerful engines and weapons, you start to get into the whole Frankenstein mentality. For one race, I created a boat with two engines and spikes. Enough said. The physics can be a bit loose at points but it is clear Rare have put a lot of work into making this mechanic deep as well as accessible.


Though it isn’t a next gen version of the N64 masterpieces that people were expecting, Banjo Kazooie represents new Rare taking a risk and driving the much loved series in a different direction. The environments and characters are all a joy to behold, and the construction mechanic quickly becomes addictive. Would recommend it. Rare have still got it, despite what the naysayers think.


Quake 4

Going to need a bigger gun... Tip: When playing Quake 4 never under any circumstances use the blaster... You will hemorrhage man points.

Quake 4 has long been a game that has eluded me. First released on the PC and then ported to the Xbox 360 for the console’s launch in 2005, I did actually own a copy a couple of years ago. Unfortunately the game was prone to glitches and frequent times when it just froze mid loading screen, which meant that I never completed it. I put this all down to a faulty disc and traded it in, passing it on to some other hapless schmuck. This was a shame because, for the most part I enjoyed Quake 4 immensely, in contrast to the survival horror of Doom 3, Quake 4 felt more in line with the fast paced fragging of Id software’s original games. So here I am a couple of years later in need of a couple of rentals and thought I’d give Quake 4 another whirl. Take that Call of Duty…

Quake 4 is a relic of an older more simpler time, before your Halos and Call of Duties. Where a one man army space marine could carry ten weapons at any one time. Where injuries were treated by health packs and further bullet protection came from collecting armour shards that levitated upon the floor. Your enemies couldn’t be taken out with mere head shots, the bigger the enemy the bigger the gun required to put it down. The main change, as with Doom 3, is Id software’s lengths in providing a richly detailed and atmospheric world. At one point you negotiate the hallways of your space craft, where you can eavesdrop on conversations from crew members who all provide insight on the ongoing war against the cybernetic menace of the Strogg on Mars. After the multiplayer diversion of Quake 3 Arena, Quake 4 picks up the story from the end of Quake 2, where a lone marine defeats the big bad, the Makorov. Well... sort of... he returns in this game regardless. What makes the story special, is that your character is captured by the enemy and effectively turned into a strogg via a particularly gory sequence when you have your legs chopped off and are effectively disemboweled along a production line. In opposite worlds, there was an opportunity to perhaps explore the war from the enemy perspective, but no... you still retain your humanity and fight for the marines, though now with super strength and the ability to patch yourself up at... wait for it... health dispensers... I know.  Inspired stuff. 

Quake 4 plays best, when you’re running fast through corridors blasting indiscriminately at the Strogg. Doom 3 had a fairly slow burn to it, creating tension, particularly in the absence of light and scaring the player with things that went bump in the night. Whilst Quake 4 still has this in places, the pacing is more concerned with high action and the prospect of fighting a futuristic space war complete with vehicle sections. It is all very linear, you’ll never come across a secret early on in the game that grants you premature access to the Railgun as in Quake 2. The creature design is strong but not as good as Doom 3, the enemies are all robotic machinery, with the odd bit of human skin stretched over gears. Stuff of nightmares.   

Unfortunately, the game was still plagued by glitches. As before, the game crashed mid loading screen at the exact same places it had with me a couple of years ago. When you first come across the Makarov for example… Clearly, I did not have a faulty disc the first time; rather Quake 4 for xbox was a buggy lazy PC to console port. Again, such a shame, because I wanted to see this one to the end. Id software used to be the kings of the first person shooters. The pioneers if you will, and though they did make 2006’s Prey, it was largely written off by critics despite having some interesting ideas and gravity defying level design, it also introduced the concept of portals before well... Portal. Since Prey, Id software have seemingly gone dark... like Willy Wonka at the start of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Of course, it is only a matter of time, it looks like they have pooled all their resources in to this year’s hotly anticipated Rage, a post apocalyptic shooter that is in no way similar to Fallout 3 or Borderlands. As for Quake 4, well... don't play it on xbox. 



Rental Review Roundup

Another month has gone and I’ve plundered my way through more rentals gaining achievements and the seeing that occasional moment of brilliance in amongst a sea of mundanity and shoddy level design.



Metro 2033



Moscow 2033: we're gonna need more vodka...


The genesis of Metro 2033 is actually quite interesting when compared to the majority of other titles that are spit balled across a boardroom. It is adapted from a novel by Russian author Dmitry Glukhovsky, that is to say, that it is not adapted from a film or a series, it is not a sequel, a remake or a reboot it is in fact one of those rare things : a new intellectual property! With that said, it is far from the most original game out there, it can be filed next to Stalker and Fallout in the category of post-apocalyptic dystopian FPS with varying RPG elements.


In a plot, that is nowhere dissimilar to Fallout, the world has been nuked and you play as one of the remnants of humanity existing in the vast subterranean environments of the Moscow metro. War never changes of course, and the metro tunnels are rife with an array of irradiated beasties as well as a couple of gun toting factions of communists and Nazis. This is a problem for the normal people that live in the tunnels, and so you are called into action to restore order to the world or at least just to survive it. Now I love Fallout, but what Metro 2033 nails brilliantly, is a sense of atmosphere. Perhaps this comes from the novelistic source material because the environments just have a greater sense of realisation. From the feeling of warmth and comfort in the human populated areas to the howling frozen wastes that exist above ground. The world of Metro 2033 feels believable, as well as harsh and alien.


Graphically, Metro 2033 is adept, but it will not win any awards. The character models are very dated. Combat can also feel stuck in the past. You have the option of taking the stealthy approach over the conventional auto-shotgun Rambo mode but the enemy AI is so flawed that taking the stealthy option is basically pointless. Fighting the various monsters is handled a lot better than the human opponents. There are several new ideas implemented into the games design. The game’s economy is based on bullets. You have your usual surplus amount of bullets and then you have your higher quality military grade bullets, which are worth more, and deal more damage. This causes you to think before you fire your weapon, which is a very interesting idea to implement when other games cause you to unload enough lead to kill God.


There is a very clear narrative drive in this title as well as a highly atmospheric tone and a handful of genuinely interesting mechanics, generally this proves Metro 2033 as being worthy of the thinking gamer’s time and money. There is a sequel in the works of course. Glukhovsky has already written Metro 2034 and with a bit more focus, we could be getting an even better game out of this.



Alan Wake



I've seen real sunsets that don't have as good graphics...

 Alan Wake was one of those blockbuster games, that every xbox fanboy was expected to buy on day one without question. I however, instinctively felt that I would not like Alan Wake. I did not care much for Remedy’s two Max Payne games, stripping away its clichéd noir plot it was essentially a third person shooter with a bullet time mechanic which was revolutionary when the first Matrix came out. I also hate so called horror games that try in earnest to scare you, but end up failing. The marketing hype surrounding the game sold mystery and horror, though despite all this the clue to the game’s story was already within the game’s title.


To my surprise then, I played through Alan Wake and actually found it quite good, even riveting. You play as Alan Wake, a prolific horror writer in the vein of Stephen King, who is suffering from writer’s block. In an attempt to ‘remedy’ this, Wake has agreed to take some time out in a remote mountain town called Bright Falls, with his wife. Taking that distinctly American Thoreau approach, they take residence in a log cabin on the shores of a lake. Needless to say, soon after arriving, spooky stuff starts happening, things go bump in the night, Wake’s wife gets kidnapped and the whole area is attacked by a dark shadowy presence. The plot is pure Stephen King of course, whilst Max Payne was influenced by film noir; Alan Wake is a character in a Stephen King novel. Luckily, I’m a sucker for King, and enjoyed all the injokes and realisation of his fiction.


The first thing that I liked about the game is its scale. Alan Wake has been in development for nearly a decade, going through various incarnations, showcased at several E3s past. Somewhere in the earlier processes, the game was sketched as an open world game, though the finished product is not, the scale has the essence of a sprawling world. Bright Falls is a fantastically realised environment, from the grand mountain ranges, to the down to earth portrayal of small town America. As with other games, Elder Scrolls 4 and Farcry 2, Alan Wake is a game that relishes in the beauty of natural landscapes.


The pacing of the game is also good. During the day, things are normal though obviously not without menace. Wake tries to bring the townsfolk into some kind of awareness whilst trying to maintain his own sanity. At night, however, the game adopts the more conventional survival horror aspects. Shadowy axe wielding psychopaths come at you and your only defence is to fight them or to just leg it. Combat is handled ever so differently from other third person shooters. Light becomes a feature, of which you use to weaken your enemies before you pelt them with shotgun fire. You are equipped with a torch, but you will also come across flares which act a bit like grenades, and flare guns which effectively become RPGs. Occasionally the game will go into slow motion mode revelling in the illuminated carnage of it all.


So is the game scary? Well it certainly has its moments, usually generated when provisions are scarce and you are faced with an onslaught of murderous darklings. It doesn’t have the brooding horror of the early Silent Hill games or even the more recent Amnesia: The Dark Descent and there is nothing as mentally draining as the derelict shopping centre level in the first Condemned game or LISA TREVOR in the Gamecube remake of Resident Evil. There are parts of the game when inanimate objects come to life under the influence of the darkness, and though this adds variety to the legions of axe murderers it wasn’t very scary, coming across like an episode of Garth Marenghi’s Darkplace. As a filing cabinet comes soaring across the room hitting you in the face. It’s pure slapstick.


The game is engrossing. There is an element of absurdity to it all and certainly a degree of the American gothic. The graphics are the best of recent memory, through all the desperate running through the forests you may remember when trees were composed of nothing more than two sprites. The might pine trees on display reflect the immensity and the antiquity of the American landscape. Combat is satisfying, scoring the darkness of a target with your torch before unleashing that final bullet to the head is satisfying. Better yet, when you reload your gun, you can actually tap the ‘x’ button to reload faster. More shooters need to do this, especially most horror shooters. The game perhaps goes on longer than it needs to and the climax has something to do with a hulking great aquanaut. Remember this game’s development probably predates Bioshock and its development. And what was with the collection of thermos flasks? The only reason I can fathom is that coffee is a stimulant and prevents sleep. But still, an unnecessary collection element.



Prince of Persia: The Forgotten Sands



Ah!  Skeletons!


Like any self respecting gamer, I loved Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time. Its sequels were nowhere near as good of course, though I did admire the 2008 reboot for simply taking a risk and doing something different with the franchise, namely by adopting an enchanting new art style. Despite my admiration for the series, I have little intention of seeing the recent film adaptation starring Jake Gyllenhaal. Big action blockbuster movies just don’t cut it for me anymore. Why settle for a third rate action movie, whilst I can have a more involving experience actually playing an action adventure game where I am the hero? There is no way that the experience of watching Jake Gyllenhaal leap from rooftop to rooftop is going to compare to the satisfaction of pulling off fluid movement and acrobatics via a control pad in the original Sands of Time.


The Forgotten Sands was released as a product to support the film release and has you returning to the role of Datstan, the prince from the sands of time trilogy. Fans of Nolan North’s Prince from the 2008 remake will have to wait a little longer for its sequel I guess. The story involves you infiltrating a temple with your brother before you unwittingly release an evil force upon the place, again. Hardened players of Persia will not blink an eye. Same old story, but so long as there is platforming right? Well, about half an hour into the Forgotten Sands, you realise that this game is not as well thought out as previous titles. Navigating the temple becomes an exercise in merely pressing buttons. You press right trigger to freeze water, you press left bumper to turn those transparent platforms into solid objects. And if you mess it all up, you use the sands of time to rewind time. Previous instalments have never felt this routine and dull.


Combat has never has been the series’ strength and it returns with the added complexity of MORE ENEMIES ON SCREEN. These enemies are all clones of one another, exactly identical. There is no variation at all. They hardly pose any kind of threat even on the hardest difficulty and require little effort to despatch. Everything about this game is undercooked. It is more of the same, almost four years after the Two Thrones. A highly derivative title in ubisofts otherwise above average roster. There may actually be more enjoyment in watching Jake Gyllenhaal parkouring it in live action instead of playing this unnecessary fourthquel. A limp slap in the face then. Bring back Nolan North’s Prince.


Singularity

lovely...

Singularity does not have the production values of some of the more popular shooters of our time. The plot is strictly B-movie, the aesthetics very similar to the retro 50s schtick of Fallout and Bioshock. You won't really care about the time travelling story line, in which upon doing a run of the mill black op mission upon a top secret Russian research facility, your jarheaded marine accidentally goes back in time and inadvertently changes the course of history. The ability to use time as a weapon is a fun distraction as opposed to the usual FPS armoury, however. As you fast forward the aging process on all those assault wielding foot soldiers that stand in your way.

Graphically, the game is quite ugly when you compare it to other games currently on the market. Textures sometimes have that shiny gloss look to them, like a roasting chicken. Graphics aren't everything of course, and if you stick with the game you will find yourself getting sucked in. The pacing is particularly good, one minute you'll be fighting your way out of a sinking ship, other times you'll be battling a large insect monster upon a train. The game throws you against a variety of different foes ranging from enemy soldiers, zombies, patasitic bugs and inter dimensional beings. Nothing you haven't seen before, but mixed and matched effectively during the course of the game. It also gives you an array of weapons to play with, including a spear gun and a rifle that fires bullets that you guide towards your enemies. There is also a decent explorative element in the game, much like Bioshock, which more FPSs should use. The game shares further similarities with that game by including collectible audio logs, the difference being that you don’t pick them up, you have to instead stand around and listen to them.

Essentially it is a decent game that you will pick up and play and complete over the course of a weekend. There is a multiplayer mode that tries to ape L4D's versus mode, but it is nowhere near as enjoyable or balanced. The monsters don’t particularly give you any form of empowerment. Maybe development should have concentrated on the single player. Regardless, Singularity is a decent rental if you are into the genre and B-movie thrills. Love it and dump it. Feel like a real man, why don’t you...

Rental Review Roundup

A couple of months ago, I started an account with LoveFilm with the sole purpose of renting out various video gaming titles that I have missed out on, partly through financial frugality, but also because of the sheer awesome torrent of activity that modern life forces upon me in spite of gaming. In short, renting is great. You don’t have to commit anything, if a game is rubbish, you can send it back in the mail and get the next title. You also get a serious boost to your gamer score. An apt metaphor would be presented as a happy marriage between prostitution and penis enlargement basically.

 Heavenly Sword.

This is a man's world

Originally released in 2007 and exclusive to the PS3, Ninja Theory’s Heavenly Sword has been on my list for a while because I am always interested in a Sony exclusive, being a playstation kid at heart. Ninja Theory are back in recent news, with new game Enslaved: Odyssey of the West coming out in early October and a reboot of Devil May Cry currently in development. The studio have built strong ties with actor Andy Serkis, who leant his acting experience with motion capture technology to both Heavenly Sword and their next game Enslaved: Odyssey of the West, which he not only directed but starred in, as a beefcake version of himself.
You play as Nariko, a red haired Amazonian woman voiced by Anna Torv who finds herself wielding the heavenly sword, a weapon of great power that is prophesised to rid the world of great evil, though in so doing, it corrupts the mind of the warrior using it, lord of the rings style. Sought after by Andy Serkis’s big bad emperor, King Boham and his colourful axis of evil, Nariko must protect the heavenly sword whilst battling evil constantly. This all takes place in a colourful fantasy world that is influenced by Eastern oriental imagery.


Nariko has the potential of being one of those rare things in gaming, a balanced heroine that is not overly sexualised like Lara Croft or characteristically mute like Samus Arran. Most crucially she is a woman in a man’s world. The back story of the game reveals that Nariko is identified by this, a disappointment to her father for being born a woman, her birth resulting in the death of her mother. The heavenly sword itself is a weapon to be wielded by a man. The feminist gamer could read into the opening of the game, a flash forward sequence in which Nariko fights a losing battle against a horde of enemies, all men.


Gameplay wise, combat is the name of the game. Essentially, Heavenly Sword is an action/combat game that uses the popular God of War template of accessible combat, quick time events and ‘brutal’ finishers. The combat is effective though predictable, you use light/heavy attacks interlaced with acrobatic evades and the odd finishing move which usually sees her thighs breaking his neck. The sword you wield essentially functions as three different weapons, fast attacks, ranged attacks and heavy attacks, different enemies require different strategies and the controls of the game keep the combat relatively easy to fight, whilst giving a degree of depth and development as you fight harder enemies. Simply it works.


Unfortunately, In the style of most of the early PS3 exclusives the game places much emphasis on using the six axis controls where ever necessary. Thusly you get these annoying sections where you take control of Nariko’s sidekick Kai who fires arrows which you control individually with the sixaxis. It is certainly not a broken mechanic but it becomes tedious and is really the only deviation from the more conventional combat that comprises the bulk of the game.


One of the game’s saving graces is Andy Serkis, who really adds character and humour to the game. Though Nariko’s quest is formulaic and overtly serious, some cut scenes centres upon King Boham and his plotting with his axis of evil. These scenes are genuinely funny, a bit like those scenes with Doctor Evil in the Austin Powers movies. These cut scenes are well acted and wittifully written and are even worth playing through the lacklustre levels just to watch. Though you could just Youtube them...


Heavenly Sword is a functional brawler to be sure. Combat is tight and satisfying. Cosmetically the game even after three years still holds up well. In the end however, I felt the game was a bit too shallow in gameplay. Ninja Theory went to great lengths to create this big bright world and all these remarkable vistas, but the controls do not even grant you a jump button. The game, world and story could have benefited from explorative elements. Even God of War grants you a certain degree of freedom between each choke point, in which you battle against enemies. Heavenly Sword is too linear for its own good, going from arena to arena via one of the terrible six axis ventures leading finally up to a boss fight.


FEAR 2

OH DEAR...

I had played the first FEAR a couple of years ago, but was put off by the game’s sterile environments and tacked on scare tactics. Regardless the fire fights were impressive and there was a certain satisfaction slow-mo kicking some hapless goon in the face. With this in mind, I tried FEAR 2 with an open mind and suddenly realised just how competent an FPS it really is.


This is an amazing feat particularly when there is nothing in FEAR 2 that strikes me as unconventional of the genre. We have seen the same settings: deserted offices, apocalyptic urban environments and dark pipe lined sewer tunnels in hundreds of other games, the first FEAR being a good example in itself. We have seen the same mechanics, a slow motion bullet-time ability that gives you an edge over your enemies. We have fought against the same enemies, a faceless mercenary bunch and the odd monster or two. What makes FEAR2 brilliant is its combat, its frenetic and visceral fire fights. The developer clearly realise which elements go into a great shooter. The guns all feel powerful, there is a technique to using each. The enemies are controlled by a decent AI system, which has them run for cover and throw grenades. On hard difficulty, these enemies pose a significant challenge and you constantly feel blessed when you have the ability to go slo-mo and see each of your shots landing. Killing said enemies is a gory business particularly if you fire a shotgun at close range for example. Then there are the environments, which all react realistically in the middle of a fire fight. Glass shatters, paper flies, and bullet holes puncture the walls. Of course when guns fail there is possibly no better feeling than roundhouse kicking a guy to the face.


The game is let down by the horror elements which try in earnest to scare you at every possible moment. The game is called FEAR, so I guess the developers thought that this is the direction they were supposed to go in but it is all so woefully contrived. I paid no attention to the plot or the various bits of information you pick up throughout the game, but you are followed by Alma, a supernatural entity that is basically the girl from the Ring. Essentially she covets you, messes with your mind, floating objects in front of you, whilst killing off other people for the sheer hell of it. Sometimes she grabs you from out of nowhere and you have to rapidly press the B button just to get her off. Along with Alma, you will also be tasked with fighting off other supernatural entities including puppet master beings who bring the corpses of the dead to life and ghost like beings that are almost invisible save from the faint flicker of their form. Fighting these enemies offers a different experience but is nowhere near as good as fighting the generic soldiers.


In conclusion, FEAR 2 offers a challenging and engaging shooter experience, that works brilliantly at conveying John Woo style shoot outs. It caught me completely by surprise and easily stands up against Halo, Modern Warfare and Killzone 2 in the heavily populated FPS arena. Combat is satisfying and endlessly replayable. It is let down only by the tacked on 'horror' sequences but I'd still recommend any shooter fan to check this game out.


50 Cent’s Blood on the Sand

Mr Cent shows the US Army how its really done.

I rented this game after laughing about it and then hearing several favourable reviews. I am no fan of 50 Cent's music, and the game didn't make me any more partial. I am white, with a capital ‘why’. In fact what I ended up doing was playing classical music through my xbox hard drive and thusly playing the game accompanied by Canon in D minor.
50 Cent: Blood on the Sand is a third person shooter starring Mr 50 Cent, various members of G-unit and even Lance Reddick from Lost and The Wire! The game takes place in some anonymous war torn middle eastern country, where 50 is performing a gig through which he is paid by means of a priceless diamond encrusted skull. Of course things do not run smoothly, 50 is ambushed, and some strange woman runs off with his skull, to which 50 responds with the immortal line - 'Bitch stole my skull!' This puts in motion an epic quest through city streets, and ancient ruins fighting off waves and waves of bad guys and no less than five helicopter gunship boss fights.


As a third person shooter the game works remarkably well. Shooting is satisfying and addictive as the game throws many mini-challenges throughout each of the levels, boosting your score. The game is let down by a dodgy cover system which often feels transparent to bullets and perhaps a lack of commitment to the cause. The game’s saving grace is that it does not take itself seriously, the game is so obviously tongue in cheek. Seeing 50 cent finish a bandanna wearing bad guy with a knife to the chest is hilarious rather than grim. 50 Cent and his accompanying G-unit sidekick fire off various insults (insults you can UNLOCK through points!) whilst spewing out all the conventional military verbatum. You begin to wonder where 50 Cent and G-unit received all this military training. Life on the streets must have been tough, and though Mr Cent was famously shot nine times you still question his involvement in Middle Eastern affairs.


In conclusion, this game is well worth a rental at least. It has co-op so you can enjoy the gangsta rap lunacy of it all with a friend and a degree of replayablility as you rack up more and more ‘ice’ to get the gold medal for each level. It pushes all the right buttons and if you do actually like 50 Cent then this will probably be the best game ever made.


Dante’s Inferno

I'm absolving him.  Honest...

In keeping with the winning formula of God of War series, Dante's Inferno seeks to emulate a piece of classical literature through ultra violence and minor titillation. Visceral Games, the makers of Dantes’ Inferno also made Dead Space, which used the conventional survival horror formula to great effect and actually bettered Resident Evil 5. Unfortunately, in emulating the God of War formula, playing Dante's Inferno only reminds you how good those games were in comparison. It isn’t just the combat and the green health orbs, the entire story is told in the exact same way as the original God of War. Of course what Dante’s Inferno also adds to the mix is actual shit. Not just through shoddy level and tasteless monster design but some of the enemies do actually attack you with their own excrement...


In a nutshell, you play as Dante, a knight fighting through the crusades, who may or may not be guilty of one or two of the seven deadly sins. His beloved Beatrice is killed and taken to hell, thus Dante must battle through the nine circles of Hell and come out on top against serial wanker Lucifer. You are made to fight various monsters and demons ranging from the usual undead footsoldiers, siren like entities that shoot scythed tentacles out of their vaginas and these gluttonous worms that are essentially penises with teeth, a concept which people are naturally supposed to find fearful at a deep psychological level. The boss for the lust level also produces attack babies out of her breasts. Yeah, it is that kind of game... Dante’s Inferno’s problem is that it tries too hard to shock the player. Whilst God of War is violent in a gleeful way, Dante’s Inferno just tries too hard. In attempt to deepen the combat, Dante’s Inferno gives the player the choice over whether to punish or absolve your enemies. The former being the way to the dark side whilst the latter is effectively a stairway to heaven, giving you points which unlock more powerful moves. Ramping up the difficulty only increases the amount of hits it takes to bring down an enemy. Effectively, the various demons begin to feel like super absorbent sponges rather than an actual challenge.


Though rated as an 18, Dante's Inferno feels inherently juvenile. If there is a hell, it is probably being made to play Dante's Inferno for all eternity. There are so many better God of War clones to play now. If the God of War trilogy didn’t satisfy you, there is Wolverine’s Revenge, Force Unleashed and the actually really good Darksiders by Vigil games. I’ve talked too much about this game. Let’s talk about something else...